Reblogged from K Xng

Some Clarification on “Work At Love”

Originally, “Work at Love” was going to be my first attempt at writing a full on novel. I just do not have confidence that I can accomplish that. So, I am instead turning “Work at Love” into a series of short stories.

“Work at Love” will be my short stories about working at love, because love takes work. I have always believed that love can motivate great things to happen, but even so it takes a lot of work. So, the meaning behind “Work at Love” is to remind people to always work at love. No matter how hard it gets, or how much you think love just is not worth it, that you must work at love. Love cannot happen without work.

Work At Love - Chapter Two: You Are My Promise. You Are My Goal.

                She had text me that she was on her way home. I had just gotten home, so there was little time left. I did not bother getting undressed. Today was a special day. I left my work clothes on, which consisted of my favorite black dress pants, my white dress shirt which was a favorite of hers, and the black silk skinny tie that she had bought for me for my first day at my new job. If I wanted her to feel anything more than the world, it would be how this our favorite clothes feel against her body as I hold her.

                I started to prepare the ingredients that I had bought on my way home from work. The plan for tonight was to surprise her with dinner and thank her for all she has done, given, and shown me. Today, she would feel. I was not the greatest cook so all I could try and make was pasta. Extra sauce and extra meat just the way both of us liked it.

                As the sauce simmered, and the water started to boil I started to clear the dinner table. As I cleared everything off the table I took out the all-white table cloth and spread it across the table.  Remembering the main gift before it was too late I ran out to my car and grabbed it. I gently placed the item on the table and took a good look at it. Things were just as I imagined it, serene.

                By now the sauce was ready, and the water was ready for the pasta to be put in. As I turned down the heat on the sauce and dropped in the pasta into the boiling water I went into our room and grabbed what I had hidden, an old bottom of wine that was half finished. Time was drawing near. She could be home any minute now.

                I quickly double-checked everything to make sure that everything was just as I had imagined. They were, so I was able to ease up a little. I finally went back to the pasta and drained it. Everything was going as planned. I was able to finish preparing before she got home, and since I had nothing else to do now I simply sat down on the couch and cried. Things… were just too good. I was happy. I wish she could feel my touch of happiness in all of this.

                I heard her pull into the garage. I quickly turned off all of the lights and waited in front of the door leading into the garage with my iPad. She opened the door and saw what was scribbled on my iPad.

                “I Love You. Friday.”

She smiled and said “Dork, one of these days this is not going to end well. I can trip in this darkness you know!” I simply chuckled. I held her hand and led her into the dining room and sat her. I took her bag and placed them on the couch. Even now she was still amazed. The candles lit her eyes and I could tell from the reflection, she felt this. Her eyes said it all.

“Dinner is served, My Dear” I said. She could not help but giggle as she always did. I served us two plates of extra saucy and extra meaty.

“Sorry, I was busy at work so I did not have time to come home early and bake the bread stick so I picked some up on the way home. Other than that, everything was made in…” I said.

“It’s okay. I’m starving! Let’s eat!” she said.

As we ate, we talked as usual. Talked about how much progress we had made on our life goals. I was never a goal driven person till I met her. She showed me just how much I could accomplish if I had set my mind to it. She is the reason I have this goal.

After we finished eating I said to her “If you go into our room you will notice a box. Open it. There is a letter inside. Come get me when you are done reading it.” She gently nodded her head and headed off for our room. As she left to go to our room I got up to clear the table.

When she got into our room she saw the box clearly. She opened it and saw the letter that was inside. She opened the letter and started to read. It read:

                Dear Vase,

                This letter has been long overdue. I have been trying to finish it, but I just could not find words. At first, I started off by trying to tell you how much I loved you, but then I threw that away. I tried writing about the future I had in mind for us, but that too I threw away. You see, through countless revisions of this letter I finally found out why I could not find the right words. I could not write about how much I loved you because if I cannot even show you how much I love you, why bother writing it down. I could not write about the future I had in mind for us because that was the future I planned for us. That is not the future I want. The future I want is the future we plan for us. We are in this together.

                I made a promise to myself a long time ago. A promise that I am willing to keep for as long as you are willing to accept me for whom I am. When I first met you I was nobody. I had no confidence, no future and most importantly no life. You made me who I am today, and for that I am beyond thankful. I would not be the man I am today if it were not for you. A man is only as great as the woman beside him. I realize that now.

                You gave me a life. You gave me confidence. But most importantly, you gave me a goal. I do not know when exactly but this goal came into my life. That goal is you, Vase. The promise I made to myself is that the life you have given me, I will give to you. Vase, you are my promise, and you are my goal.

                For the rest of my life, for as long as you are willing to accept me, I vow to make you feel every day. Your touch may have left you, but you still have your heart I will always look to be a better man and touch your heart. Every touch you cannot feel with your body, I will make you feel with your heart. You are my promise. You are my goal.

                                                                                                                                                                I Love you. Sincerely,  

                                                                                                                                                                              ….…

I’m not going to tell you I’m unbreakable.
That’s just not me.
I’m a feeble man with a feeble heart.
I shed tears too…

I am strong, not invincible.
— ShodaPublicity

Peace and Tranquility

Feel it in your mind
Feel it in your heart
Feel it in your soul
Derive it from the happiness you are able to give to others around you
It all starts somewhere
Be the catalyst to ignite their happiness

Some Hmong Song

Maybe I will delete this song and start over
It will not tell of how we parted
I will write nothing about us not being able to be together

My heart is not crying
but somehow tears flow
Who knows till when I will hurt

Word to word
Heartache to heartache
Ashes to ashes

It started with words
Grew with heartaches
and lasted till we were ashes

Every moment…
of everyday, every touch, and every heartache
I loved you

Even as tears were streaming down our faces
I knew that I loved you

Those who fear you will follow you. Those who believe in you will stand beside you.
— ShodaPublicity